Badass Bloody Marys

That first sip of a Bloody Mary is the best, amirite?

Savory with a side punch of spice and deep mouthfeel followed by a sudden awareness of the vodka, oozing all…the way…down.

Here’s the thing about Bloody Marys though: they often disappoint. Oddly enough, in restaurants especially.

You totally know the restaurant brunch scenario—reservations and everyone is feeling famished and festive. You ponder what to order to kick off the whole experience, and that cocktail needs to count!

Hmmm…never had their bloody…I wonder if it’s good… 

Alas, you pass on the pretty, fresh-squeezed OJ mimosas, opt out on boozier eye-openers, and eh, not feeling it today on a stomach-coating milk punch.

Going Bloody, you declare!

With stomachs rumbling and anticipation building, the tall crimson beauty arrives, brimming with so-gonna-eat garnishes. When everyone has been served, you go in for that first sip.

…Dammit!

Made a mistake. Politely, you keep up with the conversation while secretly pondering your next drink move. Can’t even finish it.

The bloody truth
Ordering an unknown bloody—even in a Beard award-bestowed, buzzed-about blah blah blah truly amazing restaurant—is almost as risky as ordering the gumbo. Surprisingly and all too often, a restaurant Bloody Mary is either overpowered or watered down with some mysterious ocean-sourced ingredient (Is this clam juice or did they they unload the leftover shrimp stock in my Bloody?!), too spicy on some deep, swampy Cajun level or, worst-case scenario, it lacks any flavor at all.

Were they so focused on building a skyscraper of chicken shacks and deconstructed charcuterie platter garnishes that they forgot to make the Bloody Mary itself taste worth a damn? A bland Bloody is just sad and ain’t nobody got time for that. 

“People love to screw up a Bloody Mary!” my father loves to exclaim, when he thinks of anyone shaking anything other than a little Tabasco, a squeeze of lime and maybe a crack of black pepper into plain ole tomato juice.

Daddy has a point, although I’m not that old school. It’s hard to beat Zing Zang mix as the starter and there’s always room for creativity and experimentation.

When you need a solid, go-to Bloody Mary recipe that will not disappoint, however, we’ve got you covered. When party hosting, there’s much more to consider than the recipe, so take these bloody-good pro tips for serving success!

College bars make the best Bloodys!

Know your drinking crowd

Are bloodys traditional at this particular party? If so, they won’t drink another featured offering. Consider the crowd, the age group, what else is being served and how many may opt for wine or beer instead.

Don't serve them after 2pm

Except for hard-core, early-morning tailgaters, the general Bloody Mary serving timeframe is 10am to 2pm. Think Brunch hours.

Know the ratio

The standard ratio for batching a bloody is 4 to 1, mix to vodka. That’s 4 ounces mix to for every 1 drink (Math: the batch recipe below is 64 ounces mix ÷ 4 ounces per person = 16 drinks. A fifth of vodka is 25 ounces so roughly 1 1/2 ounces vodka per drink). You can always add more vodka but can’t take it away.

Do set up a DIY garnish bar

Have the bartender or host serve each bloody with a celery stick and allow guests to garnish their own. Some prefer no fuss and the others love to dive in and dress it up!

Don't double batch a double batch!

Say what? Make the double batch one recipe at a time for best results.

Do infuse the vodka!

It’s not necessary but can take the bloody to more complex taste levels. Try the peppercorn-infused vodka recipe!

Batch in glass not plastic

Always batch in a glass container when possible, not plastic. There’s a chance the liquid will take on that funky taste from the plastic, especially new plastic. If tailgating, simply transfer to a container before traveling.

Always have a back-up!

No matter the calculations, always, always have extra bottles of base mix. That means two extra bottles beyond calculations of Zing Zang either in your car or handbag as back-up. A Bloody Mary crisis is no fun when it’s vibing and supplies are miles and miles away…

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The Float: Start with the classic celery stick, add a lime wedge and float pickled okra and olives on top. (The Beauty Shop, Memphis)

The Stack: rest wedges on the glass and skewer garnishes vertically. (Willa Jean, New Orleans)

The Resting Bloody Face: skewer garnishes and rest across the glass. Add long veggies that sprout from the drink. (Lucy's Retired Surfer Bar, New Orleans)

The Salted Rim: rub edge with lime wedge and invert glass into seasoned salt. (Lafayette's Music Room, Memphis)

The Circus Act: SO impressive yet makes you want to try that balancing act at home! (Appoline Restaurant, New Orleans)